What Is Cybersex and How Is It a Form of Sex Addiction

The most common definition of cybersex is a virtual sexual encounter between two or more people using the Internet. It can involve people viewing each other over a webcam or communicating via text based messages, instant messaging, webcam, voice, Skype, either in a chat room, on a message board, using a video service, through instant messaging or through an email system.

Some have expanded the term to include online pornography, but for us, the definition given above will be our frame of reference. Since the people involved are often miles or even continents apart, of course no actual sex occurs and what happens is technically considered masturbation.

There is nothing inherently wrong with cybersex itself, and can be a way for long-distance couples to connect on a more intimate level than previous technology would allow. But it rises to the level of sex addiction when a person is doing it compulsively, using it to suppress negative emotions and perhaps replace them with false feelings of intimacy and love. A healthy adult can cut back on online sexual behavior if it threatens relationships, causes them problems or takes over large portions of their life. A person suffering from an addiction may use the Internet to fill his or her needs and cannot reign in the behavior.

People, either with an addiction or without, exhibit all manner of sexual preferences and needs. A person with sex addiction seeking physical gratification may be content to masturbate to online pornography, and one seeking physical contact along with that gratification may go to prostitutes or visit a number of consensual partners.

In terms of the level of intimacy and social interaction required, cybersex is one step above masturbating to pornography and one below visiting a prostitute. Even within the behavior itself are a range of intimacy levels. A chat room that uses only text is the least intimate of a person’s online options. The sex addict knows there is a real person on the other keyboard interacting with them in real time, but they may not know each others’ names, physical appearance, gender or anything else except for what they write on a screen. A certain level of detachment is preserved, and there is room for fantasy still. A chat room or text message board is usually where a cybersex-based sex addiction will start.

In the chat room, pictures may be exchanged between the parties and can then segue into the use of voice chats, phone sex and or webcams. This does not mean the people involved have kept the same partners during the transition. Cybersex has the added lure of providing multiple sex partners with whom the addict can have casual, sexual encounters to fuel his fantasies.

A more problematic aspect of this particular addiction is the heightened level of intimacy it provides for an addict, something beyond traditional pornography viewing. With sex addiction, rational thought can be overridden by the desire to fill the need, which in these cases can be something beyond physical sex. Perhaps two people engage in behavior with each other more often than they do others. One or both may feel a bond forming, however this bond will be based on filling sexual needs and not involve other aspects of a healthy relationship. To a person with a sex addiction, this bond will feel real, and just as real feeling does, it will cause pain when it inevitably comes apart. This leaves the sex addict with more negative emotions which he will then suppress with yet more addictive behavior.

Other issues that can crop up with a cybersex-based sex addiction are the same ones that can be seen in anyone with any kind of sex addiction problem. Spending large portions of time, more than 10 hours per week online participating in sexual behavior, is a sign there could be a problem. The person putting off work or other activities in order to engage in online sex act is also an indicator. Of course a spouse or romantic partner may not see much of a difference between cybersex and real sex and consider it an infidelity.

Cybersex can expose a sex addict to more concerning problems as well. While it is important to remember not all sex addicts are sex offenders, the nature of it lends itself to those who are disposed to experimentation. An addict can pretend to be whoever he wants to be online or find someone pretending to be, or who actually is, a minor. A person in control of his or herself can avoid legal problems, but a person with sex addiction may not.

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Chat Clients Should Practice Safe Virtual Chat For Better Online Dating Relationships

Virtual chat is important to many people because in the current world long distance relationships are inevitable. Global interactions are increasingly becoming popular. Chat clients regular visitors in a chat system. Being an idol chat in every chat room is the dream of many chat clients. It is important to avoid doing something for the sake of doing it. Many chat clients do it with the aim of having fun. When you flirt online you should be keen to acquire flirtation skills and therefore adept dating techniques. Once a good user name logs on to a chat system the demand is so high that everybody wants to chat with them. The good thing is that many web sites offer the capability of opening numerous chat windows.

Modern chat rooms have many idol chats who are very good at multitasking and switching between three or even more chat mates. It a blessing to be the favorite among chat clients. The social skills become good and you will never fall short of ideas. You are lucky to gather information and ideas from various quotas. Experience is the way to any success in any field and that does not leave behind dating. Virtual chat helps to keep emotions in touch and in check too. Communication between chat clients kills the distance and in some cases also allow intimacy. We have heard of phone sex and cyber sex. They are greatly based on imagination or fantasy. The mind is the greatest sex organ and once it is stimulated all the other things are possible.

Virtual chat offers good practice to people who are hoping to change their behaviors towards the opposite sex. It reduces the distance and assumes the proximity which is needed to for people to get the right mannerisms. Chat clients are advised to be disciplined. If anybody misbehaves in a chat room they are blocked out of the room. There are specific sites for almost anything and everything. What many sites discourage most are adult content. I do not understand why for instance somebody in a chat room such as depression and effects it has in life should try naughty hits with a chat mate. Being an idol chat in the correct field is an important thing. Such a chat client shows lack of focus and direction.

Disciplined chat clients identify their requirement and browse to find the respective sites. There are so many dating sites which allow adult entertainment and they have chat rooms. They also have privatized chat systems therefore it offers a good atmosphere for virtual chat. Their are some chat clients who are masters in the art of flirting. Once an idol chat gets online, the number of personal instant messages will clearly indicate that they are charismatic chat clients who are popular with almost all the members of every chat room they join. Any chat should be oriented and purposed. Once you visit a site you should be wise enough to access the surroundings and decide what to talk about.

How to Give Her Mind-Blowing Oral Sex

Oral sex is one of the most important aspects of foreplay when it comes to pleasing your woman…sexually. However, many guys go straight down there for a few minutes and then come up again having not achieved very much at all. While many guys give oral sex, not many guys are good at it – but if you follow some of the techniques that I give you in this article, you will dramatically improve your bedroom game.

But first things first…

You have got to understand that oral sex is one of the keys to making your woman orgasm – and therefore it should never be neglected under any circumstances. Virtually all women like oral sex and though there are differentiating preferences between women, there are a few tips that are virtually universal. Here they are…

How To Give Her Mind-Blowing Oral Sex – 3 Tips For Great Performance

Tip 1: Many guys make the mistake of rushing down between her legs as quickly as possible but it is actually very important to make sure that she is prepared. There is foreplay before oral sex and you should wait until she is already fairly aroused before you begin. This is very important!

Tip 2: You may be surprised that many guys actually forget to continue to pay attention to her reactions when they go down on their women. You need to constantly monitor her movements and moans and figure out exactly what she likes. Once you have got this down to perfection, you will practically be able to read her mind and drive her absolutely wild every single time.

Tip 3: Avoid being predictable and do something slightly different every time. Move your tongue in different movements and try stimulating other areas of her body as well. Being a little more spontaneous and not so predictable will help to ensure that you keep up the intrigue which is something the women find extremely exciting and this will improve your bedroom manner enormously.

How Pornography Addiction Affects The Sex Lives of Couples

If one half of a couple is addicted to pornography in a monogamous relationship, it is a certainty that over time, the amount of sex that couple will have will reduce significantly (and eventually disappear altogether) and that any sex they do have will gradually become less loving and more perverse or aggressive as time goes on.

Many partners of porn addicts explain how at the start of their relationships their sex lives were breath-taking and about emotional and sexual intimacy but that over time – as their partner’s porn use increased – sex became less tender, more aggressive and far less frequent.

As this happens, many partners gradually begin to feel nothing more than objectified tools for the instant gratification of their porn addict – and totally interchangeable with porn – and cry inwardly at this. Some feel like punching their addict in the face when they are reduced to body parts to be mauled and assaulted during sex. They know their partner’s minds are with the porn images and porn performers they have seen and that they are – in effect – just pseudo sex dolls. They cease to feel cherished as a result. For many, kissing vanishes too – both from sex and their relationship as a whole.

Many loved ones feel that their partners would rather be having sex with “perfect” porn performers and not with their imperfect selves and this makes them feel ugly and undesirable which slowly but surely chips away at their self esteem more and more every day. This is made all the worse when porn addicts ask their partners to re-enact porn scenes they have seen or to act like porn performers during sex. Knowing their partners can only keep an erection if they do, they comply but then feel cheapened afterwards. Sex soon becomes utterly devoid of any real intimacy as a result. Sometimes, partners are not even asked for sex but are just taken roughly from behind. Others are groped whilst they sleep. This is probably because their addict has been watching “unconscious porn”.

As their partner’s addiction escalates, loved ones are often asked to do increasingly disturbing sexual things such as: remove all body hair so they look like the barely legal/ teenage bodies their partners are viewing; engage in S&M and bondage; have pain inflicted on them; have other people involved in their sex (which include “lesbians”, “shemales” and prostitutes); dress like porn performers or strippers; allow themselves to be slapped or strangled and are asked to have rough anal sex – amongst many other things and usually dependent upon what the porn addict has been viewing.

Their porn addicts soon begin to scare them. At first loved ones believe their partners behavior is simply sexual experimentation but soon realise something seriously untoward is happening yet loved ones can still be plagued with the feeling that it is they who are over-reacting and their partner usually agrees – telling them it is they who are “prudes”. Many loved ones do not want to be giving their partners what they often term “the nastier stuff” because it feels like a sort of rape to them but often do not have the strength to say no because they fear their addict will do porn all the more – and this is one of their worst fears as the porn is “competition”. One woman in my research wrote “Porn to me is like him having a lot of different mistresses – all of which my husband prefers to me. My husband has something that I can’t compete with – a never-ending stream of women who will do whatever he wants and ask for nothing in return.”

Often, porn addicts will go to porn for their arousal prior to sex leaving their partners naked in bed waiting for them. This hurts partners deeply. Sex then usually lasts only a few minutes and then the person leaves them immediately after climax (that is if climax is still possible due to the erectile dysfunction issues addicts have due to escalating porn use which is often the case).

The partners of porn addicts become obsessed over time with trying to get closer again to their loved ones as well as doing all they can to control or stop their partners porn use and will often go to great lengths to try and accomplish these things. In the process they often end up abandoning all their inhibitions and do things they do not want to be doing. But even “spicing things up” (like being filmed, photographed, going to adult or swingers clubs with their partners or adding more people to the sexual mix) does not keep their partners attention for long. More is then expected sexually of the partner. And whether the loved one gives the addict sex or not, the porn use never stops regardless how many times a day sex is given. Often, partners find their partners doing porn soon after having sex with them.

Often loved ones will start off being “the cool wife/ partner” by watching soft-core porn with the person, getting them subscriptions to porn magazines or porn channels as well as doing the whole “strip club” thing with them but none of these things bring the couple closer together. Quite the opposite in fact. It pushes them further apart because the loved one is enabling the addicts addiction and sex eventually becomes non-existent. Instead the addict just ends up just wanting to do porn on their own as their addiction progresses and the loved one is always thrown on the sexual scrap-heap feeling like just a room-mate to the person. If sex happens at all, it is usually the partner who initiates it and even then, there’s no foreplay or warmth and the addict has trouble orgasming or simply just staying erect/ aroused. Often addicts will fake orgasm then masturbate to porn whilst their loved one is asleep next to them. Addicts cunningly cover their backs by asking for sex only when their partner is too drained to be able to do it. Begging for sex starts to become humiliating for loved ones.

And so it goes on and on… Sometimes loved ones sleep on the couch to try and get the person to see sense but their addict simply does porn more now they don’t have to think of their partner being in the bedroom. Or the porn addict says they have erectile dysfunction due to being on an anti-depressant only to then be caught by their partner downloading porn and masturbating. Porn addicts end up complaining to their partners about being hounded for sex which leaves the self esteem of the loved one in shreds. This is the same for gay and straight relationships and where the porn addict is male or female.

And yet here is the irony… When the partners of porn addicts are being rejected left, right and centre sex wise their porn addicted partners are likely acting out with 3D games that allow players to “have sex with” performers where they can “give performers virtual orgasms”. If they are not doing that they also have the choice to buy and “have sex with” performer “body parts” (vagina and anus) made in the performers exact measurements. The real life partner is dying inside waiting for their loved one to touch them meanwhile “sex” is going on with a blow up body part and one day soon, a virtual reality avatar…

Premarital Sex Can Destroy Your Future Marriage

Premarital sex is in conflict with the Word of God. “But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints;” (Ephesians 5:3 NKJV)

And lest we think that fornication is of no afterlife concern, we must refer to 1 Corinthians 6:9-10. “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.” Simply put, unrepentant fornicators will not spend eternity in heaven. The matter is that serious.

While the spiritual concerns are of the utmost importance, I want you to consider another important aspect of the issue. That being, premarital sex is a destructive force that could destroy your future marriage.

The divorce rate in America has eclipsed 50%. Those are not good odds. To put the number in perspective, would you get on a plane if you were told up-front that there was an over fifty percent chance the plane would crash? One would have to be insane to take that “bet.” And yet we do so with the most important personal relationship we will ever have. And we spread the results of those terrible odds to our innocent children who are far too often the ones hurt the most when a marriage collapses.

There is no reason to go into all the negative results of a broken marriage, as we know them all too well. It has either happened to us personally, or we know someone who has gone through the horrendous experience of divorce. Many never recover.

The point is, it is obvious that it is a worthy undertaking to do whatever we can to give our marriage every possible chance of success. And one way we can do that is to abstain from premarital sex.

We must also briefly remember the negative affects of fornication by and of themselves. There is our growing illegitimate birth rate, that in some communities is over 70%. Then there is the plethora of STDs. And the growing number of single parent households that are a drain on our society’s very financial existence. Not to mention the damage done to children brought up in homes that lack a father’s presence.

But what harm can premarital sex do to our marriage after we’ve sown our “wild oats” and settled down?

As many people can attest, our past can destroy our future.

Do you know why gold is so expensive? Because gold is scarce and scarcity has value. Conversely, when something is abundant, it is virtually worthless.

Being sexually active with numerous pre-marriage partners ultimately makes sex with our spouse nothing special – he or she is just another in a long list of people we’ve been physically intimate with. So if our marriage doesn’t work out, it’s not a problem – we’ll just go out and find another person to have sex with – and maybe marry. But what if our spouse is the only person we will ever have sex with – would our marriage be more valuable? Wouldn’t we work harder to save it if it was in trouble?

Our permissive society scoffs at abstinence and faithfulness. You know, “The kids are going to have sex anyway, so let’s make sure they have condoms.” Boy, there’s some dedicated parenting. And once we’re married, “Everyone commits adultery, what’s the big deal?” As if we can excuse bad behavior by citing the bad behavior of others.

Marriage has been consistently and systematically cheapened. Moral standards have declined to the point where they are virtually non-existent. No matter how you feel on the subject, we should be able to agree that what we’ve done to the sanctity of marriage is not working. That is beyond obvious from both a secular and spiritual perspective.

Lastly, I beg you to consider the importance of making love to your spouse while others are just having sex with another sex partner they just happened to marry. And then ask yourself if your marriage will have more chance of success if your marital sex life has the value of gold – or tin?

The Reasons You Should Date Online Through Online Dating Sites

If getting a date is easy for many people, there is no reason why it should be difficult for others. The reason getting a date is difficult for some is just because they don’t know how to go about it. People also date for different reasons and the reasons are best known to the parties involved. Dating is almost inevitable and this shows that dating is part of life because we all enjoy sharing time with our soul mates. If we all enjoy sharing time with our soul mates, it means the importance of sharing of time with someone we love is understood and the online dating sites have been playing a very vital role in this process. Many have not yet put online dating into consideration because they either believe they have no reasons to register with an online dating site or they don’t believe in the effectiveness of these sites. In this article, you will discover the reasons why you should register with an online dating site and date online.

1. Online Dating Sites Offer Wide Variety of Potential Partners.

People have different tastes and because there is wide variety of potential partners to choose from, getting your choice and a perfect match for yourself becomes easier. When you are signing up, you need to give your profile which is the platform on which searches are based. You are advised not to give wrong information about yourself in your profile. Members have competitive profiles and this gives you a better opportunity to pick the best partner for yourself. No one is imposing anyone on you, so you are not in a kind of haste that could make you choose a partner that is contrary to your choice. Online dating sites also have different people from different parts of the world and you can conveniently be successful with your search.

2. Online Dating Sites Are Time and Money Saving.

The time and effort you would have exhausted going a certain distance to look for a partner is saved. The effort that is required to make her see the reasons why she should accept your proposal and date you is also saved if you use online dating sites. Moreover, the money you would have spent to make your partner enjoy the relationship probably by taking her to places like a cinema, party, beach or out for lunch or dinner is saved. You might need to spend to make your partner happy and comfortable, buy wines, snacks, clothes and even jewelries but because you are dating online, you won’t need to do all of these to enjoy your date. It also saves you the signing up fee which means you are getting exposed to wide variety of potential dates for free.

3. You Have The Opportunity to Meet Other Like-Minded Singles.

Online dating sites offer you the opportunity to meet other like-minded singles. When you meet other singles of the same interest, it becomes easy to share ideas and the chance to advise one another on related issues becomes available. It is always very interesting to share thoughts with other singles of the same interest because you have the same thing in common. You can share your strengths and advise one another on your weaknesses. The understanding is always stronger because all of you are exposed to almost the same challenges. Everything you do, any challenge you face and whatever you experience is always better understood by other singles of the same interest.

4. You Can Communicate Effectively With Other Members.

Communication is the life wire of dating and the online dating sites are aware of this. Because the online dating sites know the importance of communication, they have made communication effective so that members can communicate easily and as quick as possible. With the use of their short message service systems, members are able to communicate with one another whenever they want. What makes communication more interesting in online dating is that you can chat with your partner and see each other through a webcam. With the help of effective communication, you can know your partner more from a far distance. When you even place his statements side by side with the way he looks, you can easily arrive at a remarkable conclusion.

5. Online Dating Sites Are Free to Join.

Online dating sites have made it easy for people to become members because you don’t have to pay to sign up. The registration fee can hinder many people from becoming members if they can’t afford it so it is free to everyone. Those of these online dating sites that require you pay to register have even made it affordable so that you don’t pay through your nose. When you are registering, it is not compulsory you give all your details but you are advised to be truthful with the information you are ready to give about yourself.

6. Online Dating Sites Give Rooms for Easy Termination of Relationships.

It is easier to terminate a relationship you established through the online dating sites because you are not seeing your partner physically. Someone that dates his/her partner physically gets tied in the relationship longer than desired. This is because he/she is highly compassionate and won’t be able to meet his/her partner eyeball to eyeball and say he/she is no longer interested in the relationship. This is because he/she won’t be able to bear the physical emotional reactions of his/her partner.

Dating online truly saves you money but does not in any way rule out the importance and influence of giving. Giving goes a long way to get the attention of your partner. It is easier in a case where you don’t have to spend a dime to get any gift of your choice for your partner. How do I mean? There are lots of incredibly awesome free products being given out by companies which you can always get at the blog below. If you were not aware, this is your chance to get your own completely free. You could also get a love test at my blog to check if you and your partner are for each other. Visit and get as many free products as you want right away.

6 Online Dating Tips for Guys That Actually Work

1. Choose the Right Site, Even if You Have to Pay For It

Never choose a dating site because that’s the one everyone else uses. The most popular sites have the most competition, not a good idea if you want to meet someone quickly. There are dozens of dating sites online. There are religious based sites, fetish based sites, sites based on sexual preference, online dating for seniors, there are race-based sites and many more.

Even if you have to pay a monthly fee, consider that fee an investment into your future. If you are lonely now, wouldn’t you pay $20 or less a month if you were told you could meet the woman of your dreams? Of course you would. You probably spend that on leisurely activities right now that don’t bring you near as much pleasure as a dream matchup would bring you.

There are free sites, low paid sites and expensive ones. Don’t just discount a site because it charges and never discount a free site because you think it’s too cheap and saturated. Choose a site based on your preference, your budget and the number of available matches there are in the dating pool. And don’t be afraid to try several at once. The more sites you put profiles on, the more likely you are to find a match.

2. Search Like You’re a Woman To Beat Your Competition

The hardest part about online dating for men is the filling out of the profile. Most men have absolutely no idea how to present themselves in order to maximize their dating chances. To make matters worse, most online dating help for men fails to touch the process of filling out the profile. Most articles and videos online tell men to be honest and let the woman know what you want. If you want to create a profile that gets results, you must study the competition. Who are you up against? This is going to require you to search the online dating site you’re on as if you were a woman.

It is going to feel strange looking through a bunch of guys’ online dating photos, but this is a necessary step if you want the greatest edge.

If you can take what’s working and make it better, you will succeed at online dating faster than any of the other guys in your dating pool. This is one of those free online dating tips that you rarely read online and yet it’s so effective at putting you on top of whatever dating site you choose.

Pay attention to the photos men are using, the language they’re using, their headlines and anything else that stands out. Take plenty of notes and then write your profile. When you have a page full of profile tidbits, headline ideas and other crucial elements, you won’t find yourself staring at a blinking cursor when you’re asked to fill out your About Me, Ideal Date and any other sections you are required to fill out.

In other words, cheat. Online dating for men doesn’t have to be so difficult if you know the easy ways to do things.

3. Be Honest With Your Date and Yourself

One of the biggest complaints most women have about online dating is the fact that men tend to lie. One recent dater recounted a story where she met a man in real life and she said that his age, height and weight were all different than he implied them to be via their online communications.

She said that he was two inches shorter, twenty years older and at least twenty pounds heavier. His response to being caught in a blatant lie, or three of them for that matter? He shrugged, smiled and said, “Everyone lies on the Internet.”

That is not the way to begin any type of relationship. Out of all the online dating tips for guys you will hear in your lifetime, heed this one first and foremost. Be honest about who you are and what your motivations are. Don’t lie about your age, weight, height, job, income or anything else. You will be found out eventually, especially if the date ever progresses to an offline setting.

Creating an online dating profile can cause you to really take a look at yourself. Don’t lie to make yourself feel better or to entice more dates to contact you. It’s not worth it and it will only deter possible matches in the future.

4. Dig Deep to Find Ice-Breakers

This is another bit of online dating advice guys never hear. When a woman fills out an online dating profile, that is all the information she wants you to know about her. The problem for her is, the Internet is vast and probably holds much more information than what she’s offering. In fact, there is probably information online that she’d rather you not know. Use this free online dating tip with caution. You can find out a lot more about your date by Internet-stalking her, so to speak, but you might not be able to erase any bad press you find from your mind. That can be a problem if you end up really liking the person.

If you don’t mind digging up a little dirt on your potential date-to-be, start Googling the person’s name, headline or anything else. People tend to use the same usernames across multiple platforms, headlines and other elements. Some people even put their Facebook profile links on their page. Use any and all information you find to your advantage.

Your goal isn’t to open a file on them or stalk them (looking someone up online is only called cyber stalking), rather it is to gather info that can be used to break the ice with that person.

You are looking for common ground, something that you both can talk and have a conversation about. This should really only be used if you can’t find anything in the person’s profile. These days you might uncover DUI arrest records, mugshots, divorce records and a lot more on Google and the other engines. Be careful what you search for.

5. Be Intriguing, Even if Your Life is Boring

Even if you live in a nondescript house and you work as an accountant, you can still make your life sound exciting. Get creative with it and pretend you’re writing a mystery novel. You don’t have to get too crazy with it, but try to be mysterious, intriguing and try to keep her guessing as to what you do or what you’re into. The more fun you have with it, the more you’ll stand out from other guys on the dating site you’re on and the more success you’ll have overall.

The dating advice guys need the most is the ability to leave the woman guessing. Leave some information for the first date. Nobody says you have to spill the beans in your profile. Leave her guessing, imply more than tell and you’ll get better results.

6. Get on the Phone or Cam Quickly

In the cult film Napoleon Dynamite, the main character’s brother, Kip, meets a girl online and is telling his brother about it across a table at a restaurant. Kip says that they’ve been chatting for two hours every night and, with a nod, says, “I guess it’s getting pretty serious.”

To make a true match with someone, you have to form an emotional connection. It is possible to form an emotional connection via chat. Kip is one example. However, you will build an emotional connection faster and with more impact if you can get the woman on the phone or Skype or other cam-based chat.

Once you form an emotional connect, the rest is fun and games. The endorphins will take over and you’ll be on that love rollercoaster that most people spend most of their lives reminiscing about and chasing. Get the digits or the Skype address and take your chat to the phone or cam for a much faster connection.